This week’s Meet – A – Mom is with Certified Life Coach Tara Moler. Learn how this working mom of two overcame overwhelm to create balance and fulfillment and is now helping others mothers to do the same. These days the amount of moms who feel stressed is at a high. Read on for more!
How many children do you have and what are their names and ages?
Kayla is 5 and just started Kindergarten – I’m very relieved that she enjoys it. Brayden is 3 and attends daycare – he can be a handful but makes me laugh everyday.
Tell us about your Life Coach Business, Motherhood Balanced, and what made you want to start this business?
Upon returning from maternity leave for my second child, I found myself struggling with just about everything. Fitting in all of the work responsibilities with the home responsibilities was simply overwhelming. Making time to pump, feed, wash bottles, wash clothes, make food, make doctor’s appointments, attend meetings, join family events, drop off and pick up the kids – it was exhausting (and this was WITH a very supportive husband mind you). I did not feel capable in this new role of “mom of 2” while also still trying to maintain my professional drive.
I remember the night my husband came into the bathroom as I was crying (again). I was simply trying to get through each day as it came at me and then collapse into bed exhausted, only to have it all happen again tomorrow. Quite frankly, I was tired of feeling rushed, frazzled, and unable to keep up. I didn’t know what had to change, but I knew this wasn’t sustainable and it wasn’t how I wanted to live.
After about 1 year of not thriving and reaching some very low points (trying therapy, antidepressant medication, hiring out cleaning and other things I could), I still wasn’t “happy” or “fulfilled”. I actually wrote in my journal “I feel like a shell of my former self and I’m tired.” Somehow, Facebook knew and targeted me for some ad, I randomly clicked on it, and hired my first life coach and it literally did transform my life.
It helped me to create feelings of fulfillment, build confidence in my abilities at home and at work, and brought me back to that overall sense of balance and happiness I had pre “Motherhood”. It was so transformative, I decided to utilize my decade of existing coaching skills to become a certified coach myself in order to help other women rise up from the overwhelm.
More than ever moms are finding it hard to balance it all, what kind of offerings does Motherhood Balance offer for those that struggle?
As mothers of little ones, we sometimes feel like we barely have time to shower. So I want to help mothers in the most time effective way. To do so, I am developing a few different options for ways that people can work with me in order to help them find their balance. Everyone is different, so that is why I not only offer private coaching sessions (virtually) and also small group workshops. Feel free to just email me or check out the various offerings on MotherhoodBalanced.com.
What’s your top tip for working moms who are struggling with balancing it all?
First of all, give up the expectation we put on ourselves to actually do it all. At the end of the day we need to purposefully CHOOSE what stays on our plate and what comes off. If we don’t choose, something will fall – and probably NOT the thing you really want to fall off (like our physical health, sanity, being able to be PRESENT and have FUN with the ones we love so dearly – just to mention a few).
A very simple thing you can start today is a gratitude and win journal. There is evidence that when you start to look for the good, it essentially trains your brain to continue looking for it. It doesn’t make the bad “go away”, but it does force you to put those things into perspective. I encourage women to actually WRITE these things down. And I also encourage women to start logging their WINS daily. Whether that was being extra patient with one of your kids or rocking a key meeting. Doing this increases confidence in your abilities, and that internal true confidence is essential for doing the subsequent things that you need for balance (i.e. setting boundaries, releasing guilt, making yourself a priority, asking for help effectively).
You have an upcoming workshop and more scheduled in the future, can you give us an idea of what to expect for those of us interested?
I’m so excited to share these tools with fellow mothers because I’m living proof that the advice and support can be life changing. The upcoming 1-hour free workshop: Finding Calm & Balance in the Chaos of Motherhood is intended to be a starting point for a mother who KNOWS she needs more balance in her life, but just isn’t sure how to get there. We’ll go over the 3 key steps to balance, what it really means and looks like to you, and determine 1 small step you can take towards feeling better. It’s meant to be interactive and help you understand you are NOT alone AND there is hope regardless of your particular situation.
What made you decide to raise your family here?
I grew up in Saline and graduated from U of M in Ann Arbor. I thought about leaving…but just never did, and bounced around southeastern Michigan. 6 years after moving to Oakland County, I met my future husband on the West Bloomfield Nature Trail.. We both love nature and lakes, and have decided to make Commerce Township our home. I (honestly) love the 4 seasons of Michigan – and find something to do in nature in each and every one – thankfully my kiddos love to join in that fun too!
What’s your favorite family activity to do during the holiday time?
The last few years, I’ve had my grandma, mom, sister over to bake cookies with the kids. It’s such a special day learning a skill and getting to spend quality time with the amazing women in my life. And as soon as there is snow – Kayla and Brayden are begging us to head to their favorite sledding hill.
What are you and your family looking forward to in 2022?
My husband and I have our 10-year wedding anniversary in August, so I’m looking forward to planning an awesome get-away for that (taking recommendations)! But in general, I hope to continue the balance I have established for myself. The pandemic has made this even more important as the pressures on parents, especially moms, have only increased and I’m looking forward to diving into helping more mothers find their balance.
What do you do to balance your own life and motherhood? What do you do for “me” time? Juggling your own business and kids is always hard work.
It’s hard work AND fulfilling work – all of it. It took me a while to learn what my personal levers were to feeling balanced. For me, it’s creating space in my schedule to workout, journaling in the wee hours of the morning before anyone else is up, mountain biking, and finding the things that fill both my cup and my kids cup that we can do together. I’ve also gotten really good at setting boundaries and being able to say when something is good enough!
Anyone special you’d like to thank for helping you through parenthood?
I have a core group of friends that I’ve had since college, and my boss (and friend, Jean) was amazingly supportive during that really difficult time. And of course, my life coach, Dixie. Without her, I don’t know if I would have been able to see myself the way I do now and be able to say “bring it on!” to the world – because I know I have tools to handle it AND create my own happiness through it.
From Burnout to Balance – Register for her upcoming workshop here:
November 3, 1:00 pm EST
(Will also meet independently)